On Marital Bliss and Ritual Pizza

A slice of happiness

Just a few weeks after our wedding, Mr. Noodle and I faced the first serious test of our fledgling marriage: who would run the kitchen? Like presidential foes, we each felt better qualified than the other to be the Cook-in-Chief - me, by virtue of being my mother's kitchen understudy and he, by dint of a few years of self-sufficient bachelorhood. Lines were drawn across the linoleum and a few tense moments flared when neither of us would relinquish the spatula. In the end, I emerged triumphant, backed by a slightly larger repertoire of dishes and the power of socially prescribed gender roles. 

As the victor, I assumed full control of food preparation, including all of our meal choices. Given our limited financial resources from my job as a library clerk and his as a graduate teaching assistant, those choices often depended on my ability to create a dish using an egg, one limp scallion and a packet of Nissin Top Ramen noodles. As for my husband, he wasn't completely persona non grata in the kitchen; after all, I needed someone to open jars and reach high shelves. That was the extent of his culinary participation until the day he made a seemingly simple yet ultimately fateful suggestion: to incorporate his favorite frozen pizza into our dinner rotation. 

Fifteen years later, I can honestly say that we owe a large part of our still-happy union to the resulting ritual: Pizza Night Thursdays. It wasn't a conscious effort - stocking our freezer with Tombstone's Original Supreme Pizza provided a budget-friendly meal which we both enjoyed immensely. If there were a deeper meaning to our choice, it might have been as a symbolic break from the food control exercised by our parents (i.e. we were finally adults who could eat whatever we wanted). 

Pizza Night was born out of convenience with Thursday as the chosen day because, well, it was a jumpstart to the weekend. On these evenings, we each have our roles - I pop the pie in the oven and get the plates ready; when it's done, Mr. Noodle takes it out and wields the pizza cutter as I hover anxiously by his elbow to see if the portions are equal. Then, after he slides two slices onto the plates I'm holding, I close my eyes and tell him to take the biggest pieces. Repeat once a week, indefinitely.

Why has it lasted so long, this innocuous little ritual? At some indeterminate point, Pizza Night Thursdays became so much more than just an easy weekly dinner. 

In my last post, Of Sunday Mass and Family Meals, I noted how sharing restaurant meals with my parents and siblings was actually a first step toward individuality and independence from the family unit. In this case, establishing new eating habits with my husband served to bring me back into a commensal group, albeit a very small one. In a 2002 report, "Proper Meals in Transition: Young Married Couples on the Nature of Eating Together" (Appetite 39: 193-206), researchers D.W. Marshall and A.S. Anderson observed:

"[T]he idea of eating properly [defined in the study as consuming a hot, cooked meal in the company of one's partner] continues to exist as a metaphor for family life, signifying the departure from single status . . . [P]articipation at the evening meal plays a central role for many of these couples in the creation and formation of their own family unit and their identity as a couple."

A properly delicious meal

Eating together undoubtedly creates strong bonds between people but apparently, so does cooking together. In recent year, anecdotal surveys have shown that most couples who shared time in the kitchen described their relationships as 'excellent' and reported feeling more playful, relaxed and conversational. An added bonus: cooking was second only to a massage as a prelude to a kiss and so much more, making the kitchen the hottest room in the house. 

Although it's a stretch to call it cooking, Pizza Night Thursdays has been our shared kitchen time and I can attest to the positive effects revealed by the surveys. But even more, our weekly ritual has proven to be a comforting constant in our lives as we've changed homes and jobs, said goodbye to old friends and made new ones, celebrated births and grieved deaths in the family, and wondered how the years could have passed so quickly. Each Thursday, we're reminded that in the midst of even the most tumultuous changes, some things will always remain soothingly the same. As I watch my husband enjoy his pizza, I look past the little dab of sauce at the corner of his mouth where the laugh lines are deeper now, and the glint of silver showing through the gold-brown strands at his temples, and I see the handsome young man who, in his fearless youth, agreed to share a life and a kitchen with me.

Almost Homemade Pizza

Although Tombstone Original Supreme is still our mainstay for Pizza Night Thursdays, we occasionally like to mix things up by putting together a semi-homemade pizza using a fully baked Rustic Crust, found at Whole Foods Market. 

• Brush the top with olive oil, place on a pizza stone or pan, and heat in a 350 degree (F) oven for about 10 minutes;
  
• Remove, add some pizza sauce (check out this homemade recipe from Delicious Meliscious) and your choice of toppings; 
  
• Return to oven, increasing the temperature to 400 degrees, and bake until cheese is melted, bubbling and beginning to brown, about 10-15 minutes;
  
• Slice and serve.
  

Note: Noodle Family ritual steps optional. 

Try some of our personal favorites:

Salame e Funghi

- Fresh mozzarella
- Baby portabella mushrooms
- Italian salame, such as sopressata
- Fresh or dried basil and oregano, or Italian seasonings such as Penzey's Tuscan Sunset

Ham and Blue

- Fresh mozzarella

- Thinly sliced ham (even better: prosciutto)

- Crumbled gorgonzola cheese

- Diced yellow bell peppers
- Baby portabella mushrooms
- Fresh or dried herbs, or Italian seasoning